The recent media blitz on the Tiger Wood story and not too long ago David Letterman blackmail scandal provide us an interesting insight into to the making of the character structure of successful individuals. One wonders what brings these individuals to the edge and how it impacts on others in their life, and society at large. These individuals seem to go through certain phases in the enfoldment of their real self.
In the build up phase, as success builds upon success, they accumulate a great deal of goodwill, wealth, prestige and power and become indispensable. Without Woods the luster of golf fades away and late night shows wash out as veteran Letterman fades away from the screen. The power intoxication creates a sense of invincibility, a feeling that they are above and beyond the reach of normal codes of conduct and social norms do not apply to them anymore it. Only ‘small people ‘pay taxes, I don’t, declared the millionaire hotel tycoon not too many years ago. It is in this frame of mind that they cross the line and get away with such transgressions until the bubble bursts and somehow the curtain opens to reveal their true character.
When the reality hits as they fall from the grace, there is a rude awakening to the resulting outrage and shock reaction from the public and sometimes there is expression of guilt and remorse at being found out, and not a genuine expression of emotions and the desire to redress the wrongs and hurt they caused. The internal turmoil begins to set in as those who loved them most are hurt the most. John Edwards caused the deepest hurt to his wife who was suffering from terminal cancer. In his recounting of what was happening in his world, he talked about ‘feeling invincible and beyond control' and not realizing the hurt he would cause to the one who loved him the most and had significant hand building his national stature as a democratic candidate. Similar consequences ensued from Governor Stanford and President Clinton to name a few.
The rebound and recovery phase is ushered in and hastened at times because of financial loss and/ or loss of credibility. Several other factors also help in the healing process such as the whole that need to be filled and the public looks the other way if they see genuine effort is being made in the reconciliation process. The hardest part of the recovery is the forgiveness and regaining of the trust from the loved one who sustained hurt most.
Conclusion
Why do we have such an outrage when the invincible crash? Why can we not keep public and private persona distinctly separate? It depends upon how the invincible projected themselves. The ‘Squeaky Clean’ image that Woods portrayed, ‘the loving family’ that Edwards professed determined the extent of the reaction from the public. The separation of personal beliefs and state affairs that founding fathers of this country professed is not divorced from the morality that formed the foundation of this nation. We do admire success but we also hold moral values as a sentinel to the very success we so very much admire.
Dr. Prakash is a corporate wellness coach and specializes in helping his clients attain balance in their lives and realize their maximum potential for optimum success in their personal and professional life. He can be reached at:Prakash@airmail.net. For more information, visit his website:coachprakash.com.
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