Success Unlimited Coaching Blogs

Reflections on Forthood Tragedy

2009-12-25T15:38:00.000-08:00

Reflections on the Forthood Tragedy

The tragedy at Ft hood has been a puzzling incident needing serious consideration of possible series of events culminating in the loss of life. Some of the possible rationale to fathom thistragic event are as follows:

Background Information

There were serious indications, early on, of the inability of this care giver
psychiatrist to perform at a level that would have met the standards of US Army. He himself had expressed his inability and unwillingness for deployment on various occasions and up until just before the tragedy.

He was kept on the job perhaps because of the shortage of healthcare professionals
in the Army( Ratio:1:750) and also because he represented the Muslim minority and to
maintain minority representation in a mufti- cultural may and the society at large.

Specific rationale that may have pushed him over the edge are:

1.Mental and emotional breakdown
He probably heard lots of horror stories from the returning soldiers which impacted
upon him and he broke down mentally and emotionally may primarily be due to
cumulative stress buildup to the threshold levels that could no longer be
contained and in part also because most often there is little care for the care
givers.

2.Conflict in belief Systems
Because of his religious beliefs which tended towards orthodox Islam, he was also
conflicted in view of the fact that he would have to be in a fighting army in
deadly combat with people who belonged to the same faith he professed. This
psychological pressure to perform tasks that conflicted with his belief system
produced a stress reaction resulting in this tragedy.

3.Suicidal / Homicidal response
Desperation, and inability to cope and conflicting belief systems seem to have
pushed him over the edge, resulting in oblivion complex in which the person
creates a world of reality where life became a Burdon they can't bear anymore.
Anger mixed with suicidal tendencies leads to homicidal revenge response.

The aftermath

In the aftermath of this tragedy there are some other consideration that would have to taken into account. Some of these considerations are:

1. The morale of the soldiers
2. The role of Muslim soldiers in the army
3. The sorrow of the 600 families impacted by the incident
4. Guilt of the survivors
5. Dealing with the accused and lessons learned from this incident

Om Prakash, Ph.D., P.C.
Mentor Coach
Clinical Psychologist

Email: prakask2 airmail.net
Web: coachprakash.com

New Year's Resolutions: why do they work? If not, Why not?

2009-12-25T15:12:00.000-08:00

New Year’s resolutions: Do they work? If not, why not?
Om Prakash, Ph. D.
Mentor Coach
Clinical Psychologist

We have a tradition in our society of making new years resolution which involves setting goals; we make them with earnestness and a sincere desire to make meaningful changes in our lives. Unfortunately, we find ourselves disappointed when within a few weeks we have strayed away from the path often wondering, “Why does this happen?”

Why do we fail in our resolutions?

Most of the goals are unrealistic and way beyond our capabilities
The goals are usually confused with objectives.
We do not have the discipline that is needed to accomplish goals
When we make a pronouncement to attain a certain goal without erecting support systems, we set ourselves for failure.
Most of the resolutions involve habits that are deeply ingrained in us and are controlled by the subconscious part of our mind. The conscious part of the mind which makes the resolution is unable to help us.

How do we make resolutions that are attainable?
To succeed we must be:

Mindful of distinction between a goal and an objective
A resolution is a goal that we wish to accomplish. The most important factor in succeeding is the distinction between a goal and an objective.

A goal is a source of inspiration, a statement of purpose which motivates us to make meaningful changes in our lives.

An objective is a meaningful small step that we take to make the goal attainable.

Example: If the goal is to be healthy for an obese person, the objective could be to loose two pounds a week. To be healthy will continue to inspire and the objective will continue to move this person towards an ideal weight.

Set Smart Goals:
Each of the letters in smart goal planning stands for a meaningful idea in setting goals:

S - Short and to the point. Do not overload a goal
M - Meaningful in time and space
A- Attainable with the resources and support systems you have in place
R- Realistic and not a pie in the sky
T- Timely to meet and fulfill your needs

Create the discipline
We make resolutions to overcome habitual behaviors such as overeating, drinking. and smoking. These habitual behaviors become ingrained and are controlled by our subconscious mind.

In order to overcome these behaviors we need to engage in behaviors that are incompatible and compete with habitual behaviors and must be repeated over and over again to form new habitual behaviors.

The best way to form new habitual behaviors is to establish routines that are self sustaining and repeat themselves automatically.

Examples. Instead of having a drink to relax at the end of the day, sit down in a quiet
place and meditate.

The urge to smoke after a meal can be overcome by going for a walk
and breathing the fresh air.

The tendency to overeat can be overcome by drinking a whole 8 oz glass of
Water at room temperature 15 minutes before eating a meal

Conclusion

Before making any new yea’s resolutions please do some thinking and have a clear idea as to what your goals are going to be and how you are to achieve them. You may consult a professional if you needed some help to do so.

Dr. Prakash is a Corporate Wellness Coach and a Psychologist in private practice in the Metroplex. He may be reached at: Prakash @airmail.net. For further information about Dr. Prakash, please visit his website: CoachPrakas.com

2009-12-25T15:03:00.000-08:00

The Crash of the Invincible
Om Prakash, Ph.D.
Mentor Coach
Clinical Psychologist

The recent media blitz on the Tiger Wood story and not too long ago David Letterman blackmail scandal provide us an interesting insight into to the making of the character structure of successful individuals. One wonders what brings these individuals to the edge and how it impacts on others in their life, and society at large. These individuals seem to go through certain phases in the enfoldment of their real self.

In the build up phase, as success builds upon success, they accumulate a great deal of goodwill, wealth, prestige and power and become indispensable. Without Woods the luster of golf fades away and late night shows wash out as veteran Letterman fades away from the screen. The power intoxication creates a sense of invincibility, a feeling that they are above and beyond the reach of normal codes of conduct and social norms do not apply to them anymore it. Only ‘small people ‘pay taxes, I don’t, declared the millionaire hotel tycoon not too many years ago. It is in this frame of mind that they cross the line and get away with such transgressions until the bubble bursts and somehow the curtain opens to reveal their true character.

When the reality hits as they fall from the grace, there is a rude awakening to the resulting outrageand shock reaction from the public and sometimes there is expression of guilt and remorse at being found out, and not a genuine expression of emotions and the desire to redress the wrongs and hurt they caused. The internal turmoil begins to set in as those who loved them most are hurt the most. John Edwards caused the deepest hurt to his wife who was suffering from terminal cancer. In his recounting of what was happening in his world, he talked about ‘feeling invincible and beyond control’and not realizing the hurt he would cause to the one who loved him the most and had significant hand building his national stature as a democratic candidate. Similar consequences ensued from Governor Stanford and President Clinton to name a few.

The rebound and recovery phase is ushered in and hastened at times because of financial loss and/ or loss of credibility. Several other factors also help in the healing process such as the whole that need to be filled and the public looks the other way if they see genuine effort is being made in the reconciliation process. The hardest part of the recovery is the forgiveness and regaining of the trust from the loved one who sustained hurt most.

Conclusion:

Why do we have such an outrage when the invincible crash. Why can we not keep public and private persona distinctly separate. It depends upon how the invincible projected themselves. The ‘Squeaky Clean’ image that Woods portrayed, ‘the loving family’ that Edwards professed determined the extent of the reaction from the public. The separation of personal beliefs and state affairs that founding fathers of this country professed is not divorced from the morality that formed the foundation of this nation. We do admire success but we also hold moral values as a sentinel to the very success we so very much admire.

Dr. Prakash is a corporate wellness coach and specializes in helping his clients attain balance in their lives and realize their maximum potential for optimum success in their personal and professional life. He can be reached at:Prakash@airmail.net. For more information, visit his website:coachprakash.com.